Family matters can often be very pressing issues and sometimes we must make difficult decisions. And when those decisions affect the future of our children, the responsibility can weigh heavily upon us. In today’s story, Abraham must find a wife for Isaac. In those days, it was usual for parents to do this for their children and arranged marriages were very common. Verse 1 tells us that Abraham was very old at this time. How old was Isaac (Gen 25:20)?
I want you also to notice something interesting in this first verse. In Gen 12: 2, God had promised Abraham saying, “I will bless you.” But here in Gen 24:1, it says that “the Lord had blessed him in every way.” God has been faithful to bless Abraham. He has kept His promises so far. These promises were based on Abraham’s obedience. We have seen the Bible repeatedly laud Abraham for his faith. But there are also promises of blessings for us if we put our faith in Him (Eph 1:3-14). Our God is faithful and keeps His promises… praise His name! Read Rom 4:18-25.
Now on to verses 2-4. Because of his age, Abraham calls on his most senior servant to perform this task for him. This is the man in his household that he trusts most of all. As we will see in this story, he is also a man of faith in God. Abraham tells the servant that he does not want his son to take a Canaanite woman for a wife. He has lived among the Canaanites for many, many years and he knows them well. He knows their beliefs and customs. They are pagans and they practice idol worship, some even sacrificing their children to idols. Intermarrying among them would be a bad influence for his son and may even put God’s covenant promises to his descendants at risk. This is a grave matter. Abraham wants his son to marry a woman from his own people, the Semites, and is sending his servant to them to find a wife for Isaac.
He makes the servant take an oath. How is this accomplished? In our culture, this symbolic gesture seems odd. But just as we tell children today that mommy has a baby in her tummy, the expression back then was that children came from a man’s thigh. In this context, the gesture makes more sense, and the thigh is in the near vicinity of the genitals. So, in a sense, the servant is swearing an oath, not just to Isaac and Abraham, but to all their descendants.
Just as finding the right mate was an important matter for Abraham and Isaac, we know that it is an important matter for us today as well. We are heavily influenced by the person we marry. This is also true of the people we choose as friends. It is generally accepted as fact that in unequal relationships, the bad influence tends to bring down the better-behaved person rather than the more well-behaved person bringing up the behavior of the person who is morally lacking. While that is not always true, it tends to be true more often than not. Our beliefs and our values can be compromised and affected in the interest of ‘keeping the peace’ or ‘getting along’, sometimes without our even realizing it. And, because we care about what this person thinks, we can allow ourselves to be influenced.
The Bible warns us against this. In 2 Cor 6:14-7:1, we are warned not to yoke ourselves with unbelievers. Does this mean that we should avoid contact with folks who are not Christians? Not at all. We live in this world with all types of people, and we are to get along with them as best as we can and show them God’s love. But when it comes to a relationship as close as marriage, we need to seek out a mate who will help us grow in our relationship with the Lord. We must find someone who shares that relationship and will not stand in the way of it. This goes for close friends who are confidantes, as well. I believe that God wants us to worship Him and serve Him together with our mates at our sides. Remember, marriage is a one-flesh relationship and is difficult enough when we are in harmony.
Read verses 5-8. The servant has a concern about this request. What is it (verse 5)? The servant is worried that he may not be able to get a woman to come back to Canaan with him, but Abraham is adamant that he mustn’t take Isaac with him to his family’s home. Why do you suppose this is? God has brought Abraham to Canaan and promised this land to his descendants, intending them to live there and possess it as their inheritance. Isaac must remain in the land that God has promised to them. Abraham believes God’s promise. He even tells the servant that God will send an angel along to help him. In verse 9, the servant swears the oath to Abraham.
In verses 10-11, we see the servant setting out for the town of Nahor. We know from Gen 22:20 that Nahor is Abraham’s brother. The servant takes along with him ten camels full of gifts from Abraham. He will need these to pay the bride price, and Abraham is a rich man. The servant has the camels kneel near a well just outside of the town in the cooler hours of the evening when the women usually come out to draw water from the well.
Verses 12-14 tell us that the servant prayed and asked God’s help in determining the right woman for Isaac. He is also a man of faith, just like Abraham, and trusts God to help him make the right decision. I would encourage you to make this a habit in your own life, turning to God for help in making important life decisions. Record these verses in your journal (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Think about what the servant asks of God. He could have asked God to have her say ‘yes' or ‘no’ but those would have been normal responses. He asked God to have her respond with something out of the ordinary. And he had with him ten camels. Think about that.
Now, a woman’s jar had to be something she would be able to carry, so it probably didn’t hold more than 2 or 3 gallons, at best. And a camel that hadn’t had a drink for a few days, well he might drink 20-30 gallons of water. Multiply that by ten camels and that’s a lot of watering to do. A woman would really not have been very likely to offer to water his camels. The servant is asking God for something extraordinary to happen.
Verse 15 tells us who came to the well. What is her relationship to Abraham? How soon did she come after the servant prayed? God answered his prayer before he even finished praying it. Do you believe that God always answers prayer? Sometimes we think He doesn’t answer, but the answer might be ‘no’ and we must learn to accept that answer also. He is much wiser than we are. But for Abraham’s servant, the answer was obvious.
What does verse 16 tell us about Rebekah? The Bible tells us that she was both beautiful and a virgin. I want to tell you, whether you are male or female, this is how God wants us to come to marriage. God sees beauty differently than man does. The book of Proverbs teaches us that wisdom comes from learning God’s Word and obeying it, and in Eccl 8:1, we learn that wisdom makes us beautiful in God’s eyes. God wants both man and woman to enter marriage as faithful, obedient Christians. Remember, from an earlier lesson, that the marriage relationship represents the relationship between Christ and the church. The groom represents Christ, and the bride represents the church (those who have put their faith in Him and been cleansed of their sins). See 2 Cor 11:2 and Eph 5:25-32. God also wants us to be sexually pure (I Thess 4:3-5).
Have you met God’s expectations in these areas? Are you living your life as a faithful, obedient Christian, beautiful in God’s eyes? Did you (will you) come to marriage as a virgin? If not, I would urge you to go to God in prayer, right now, and seek His forgiveness. He promises to always forgive our sins, if we ask Him (I John 1:9). These two things, beauty and virginity, are so important in God’s eyes, and your marriage will be so much better for them.
Read verses 17-20. The servant puts the plan into action. What happens? God has answered the servant’s prayer. He has shown him that Rebekah is the woman for Isaac. Remember in Genesis 18 how Abraham showed hospitality to the three visitors? Here, Rebekah shows the same heart of hospitality toward the servant at the well. She will fit in well with Abraham’s family and their values.
In verses 21-23, the servant watches Rebekah closely. He wants to see if her actions are completely as they should be. He needs to be sure she is the right woman. Then he gives her a few of the gifts from Abraham. This is a down payment on the bride price. He wants her and her family to know that this will be a serious offer. And he inquires about her lineage. Why is that important? When she answers favorably, what does he do immediately (verses 24-27)?
Responding to God: Praise God for all His good blessings. Spend some time praying with God about your most intimate relationships and whether you are seeking out those people who will help you draw nearer to Him. Seek God’s wisdom for important decisions you must make. Ask God’s forgiveness for areas in which you have not been faithful and obedient. Worship God and thank Him for answered prayers.
Further Research: Using a concordance, search the Bible for occurrences of the words bride and bridegroom.
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